come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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