I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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