fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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