Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
