you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
