Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
