He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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