I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
