i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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