Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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