im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
