Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
