problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
