If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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