There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
