So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Text me some of your sweat
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
