I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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