Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
