super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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