Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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