you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
