She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
