i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
