I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
