Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
