too bad you live with your parents still
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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