you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
