The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
