It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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