Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
