would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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