i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
