she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
