I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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