Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
