I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
