Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
