69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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