Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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