Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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