gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
one two three fourrrrnication!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
