did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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