Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
