Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
