I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
