u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
