i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
