The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
