i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
