So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
