I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
