Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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